Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Ashley goes America all over everyone's ass

Hey guys! That title has nothing to do with the blog post — I just couldn't think of anything and I've been watching a lot of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia SO DEAL WITH IT. Also, I expect that you will all forget about the fact that I haven’t written a blog in two months and just keep reading as if nothing had ever happened. Why haven’t I written in so long you ask? Well for starters if I had been writing a blog would I have had time to do stuff like THIS:

I didn’t think so. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s move on to what’s been going on up in my life. And since we all know how action packed and sex-fueled my day-to-day is, let’s simply break the major events down into a list:

-       My first year at the University of Glasgow ended
-       I saw the Avengers …
I can't be the only person who saw the resemblance ...

-       I got a part-time job at a café by my house and it sucks ass
-       And uh, it’s not like a big deal or anything but I have 400 Facebook friends now
-       I’ve read a lot of books that include The Rings of Saturn (amazingly amazing) and The Road (which you should not read if you have hope … about anything)
-       I’ve written a few more short stories, one of which was read out in front of a live audience by a friend of a friend. It was strange but good. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever stared at the ground so hard in my life.
-       Other stuff

Also, I finished up that ancestry project I mentioned a while back and found out some pretty interesting stuff. Now prepare yourselves for this because you might need an extra pair of socks after the two that you are wearing suddenly blow off. Turns out that every person, from every possible branch of my family tree, has been horrendously poor. Like we’re talking farmers, coal-miners, and farming coal-miners poor. And I know you’re probs like, “But Ashley, you are so extravagant and good-smelling and you wear such clothes that make lesser peoples think you a God. How could this possibly be?”  Truth is my minions friends, beneath this exterior of grace and perfect bone structure lies a girl who, as a rapidly-growing gangly pubescent who couldn’t afford to buy clothes, had to wear the same pair of overalls for so long that I’m not even going to try and describe to you the severity of the camel toe situation. My crotch barely made it out alive let’s just put it that way. 

And with that, my first year as a Master of Fine Arts student has ended. It’s been a really great/interesting nine months. I realy thinq Ive grohn alot as a wryter. I’ve been to places I never thought I’d have the money or opportunity to go to. And even though (to be honest) these last couple months have been a little emotionally rough for me, this place just seems like home now and I’m happy that I get to spend another year here. And now that I have no more looming assignments, I promise to blog more because let’s be honest, I missed you guys a lot. BUT ENOUGH OF THIS SERIOUS STUFF. HEREARESOMEPICS:

This one day it got "hot" in Glasgow

Glasgow's Botanical Gardens

Oliver and his flat

Second hand book store <3


 But I get so crampy when I try to learnnnn

Banksy and I 

Yo Ho

The Gines

Shisha and tea, tea and shisha

Gina's 23rd

The absent-minded professor 


Edinburgh Zoo


"The Ways of the Panda: How we can use their mating habits as a guide to affect change in our own" ... By Gina Malara and Ashley Welling



Pollok House

Best author's photo of all time?

While my surroundings may appear to be calm and docile, mere moments after this was taken the clouds above unleashed a torrent of hail/rain/wind that would have made Thor cry as if a child of the female persuasion.

Helen and a Pollok cat

Leaving Pollok

Until next time my friends,



  1. Welcome back

    Is that picture of the piles and piles of books at the second hand book store? That is awesome.

    Coal miners and farmers in Australia earn the big bucks. Mostly because coal miners have to work in the middle of nowhere and have to be flown in and out of work so work terrible rosters and are compensated for it (read: mega bucks) and farmers here own land that is similar in size to that of a small European nation.

  2. Boy, when you come back, you come back with a bang. Lovely pix!

  3. OK, now I want 1) ice cream and 2) a pet panda. Can you do that for me?

  4. Seeing that secondhand book store, I want to swim in those books. Only with floaties, though (as I can't swim).

    So sure, you shared your short story with an audience, but when are you going to share it with us? HUH?