Thursday, September 8, 2011

Stephanie is growing roots. Like a tree. The metaphor is pretty bad.

I feel like it's been a while.  Has it been a while?  I don't think it has, but it feels like it.
I strongly believe in the theory of Pennsylvania Simultaneously Slows Down And Speeds Up Time. 
I think it might actually be a theory and I am just now stumbling across it.  I think Wikipedia is lying to me when it says 'no search results'.  All of my friends agree, it feels like we’ve been at Chatham for two months, not two weeks.  But it’s not a bad thing. I can literally feel the roots of, dare I say it, adulthood settling in my subconscious.  I mean, they could be poisoning me but I'M PRETTY SURE it's a maturity thing.

Watch as I stop wearing my super awesome tiger socks that I got from the San Diego Zoo and start reading the Wall Street Journal in some vague cafe while saying 'Yes, quite.'  Nah, someone shoot me in the face if I ever do that.  (But someone please buy me a monocle, good god that is one classy piece of glass.)

I don't know if you, our dear readers, have noticed but Ashley and I established one rule for this blog.  Only one.  Fairly easy to follow.  Or so I thought.
We alternate entries.  But what ho! Ashley decided to do a DOUBLE entry.  She cheated, Ashley's a cheater.  We were discussing the state of the blog on Skype the other night and she impatiently encouraged me to write an entry so she could write hers.  She threatened a double entry.  I said I would try to write one but I couldn't guarantee it.  I actually DO THINGS now.  (That's what I tell people anyway.  When they ask me if I'm busy I just say "I am doing so many things, you don't even know")  So, a day went by, I didn't write one, and then I see that she posted an entry.  Readers, my sister is a cheating cheater pants on fire pumpkin-eater cheater.  Turn on her.  
So, besides Ashley's Scottish blasphemies, I suppose I should discuss things that have been going on with me.  Besides my roots/adulthood metaphor, which was kind of silly let's face it.
I will detail my life in the past week in bullet form because bullets are super fucking exciting.
  • I sketched and glued a leaf into my sketchbook and was graded on it.  /artschool
  • I attended a scorching hot Pitt game with my roommate and her family.  Literally.  I think it was Pitt vs. The surface of the Sun.
  • Thought about exploring the campus a bit more with my camera.  Watched Community instead.  /photographymajor
  • I probably showered at some point.
  • Some food was probably involved as well.
  • Someone invent a shower kitchen.  That sounds really great.
  • I can shampoo my hair AND make a sandwich?  Sign me up!
  • Sneakily got my commuter friend into my dorm so she could spend the night.  It was not a big deal.  We literally walked right past an RA and our GRD and the amount of fucks they gave was second to none.  
  • Packed for California which took, like, a single throw of clothes into my duffel bag.
And so concludes Stephanie's life in bullet point super fucking awesome form.

p.s. I'm pretty sure there are at least two cocaine addicts in this terminal.  And they're getting on my plane.  That's good.



    - Ashley the blasphemous Scotsman

  2. You haven't been to Brighton, Colorado, which does nothing but slow down the flow of time until it comes to a screeching halt.

    Also, I love that you guys are sharing a blog. We do too, and we're brothers. Well, the non-related kind.

  3. I have not. Our hometown is much like this Brighton, Colorado. Dreams die. Hope perishes. Aspirations become things that once were but never can be.

    Is it a bromance?

  4. Stephums Wellums, I'd like to tell you that I can't read whatever you write because the font is difficult on the eyes. It's like trying to read Hebrew. So, my point is, I really desire to read your blog but I can't. Has anyone else complained about the font?